Puck_schouw

Hii you,

So the end is here, maybe a relieve for some and maybe for some not. Here I tell you it is a relieve for me, why you ask? Well I was stuck, stuck in-between my head and the connection that it can make with a computer. It didn’t work anymore, I tried to find a line in between there, that would make me satisfied. So at the start, I felt relief because I was struggling a lot with what I wanted, this felt nice. Like some extra time that was given to me to think and take some rest. But I question myself did I fully use that time to find this out these questions? The first 2 weeks it was nice, it was easy and clear for me just do it try and try it out. It was just a new way, I was hoping it was temporary. After those 2 weeks it already slowly came forward, I can’t handle abrupt changes, it is really hurting my brain and makes me feel restless. I was stuck in my room where normally my free time is you know the safe place to fall back on but now I also worked here, the frustration, the hedages, and resistance took place. This broke my head and work flow, it was gone and I had to look for them again. Not only was this happening with school work, but also with some personal things I went through. I know everyone has to go through this but somehow my head just didn’t accept it and outcasted everything and I had headaches so I was looking for a way out. I started to read and study poetry which I really liked but this took me too much time, I am not a great reader. So I gave that up for now, I was trying really hard to find my way back to connect with my computer, I tried and learned new programs, some I really like others just don’t get me even started on it….. this dragged me down again and I asked myself why? It is one that it isn’t working out but some how I did not accept this. It felt like I was doing nothing, I didn’t learn anything(or really slow), like I did not accomplish anything. So I also did some other projects for myself that didn’t have anything to do with the computer and some projects with people from different apartments. Despite the fact I wasn’t really feeling this week teams and all digital content, I learned a lot, some new programs and some ways of thinking for myself and on my own pace. It is sad to say but it still feels like my brain is on fire, but everyone probelby feels like this so..
Maybe rest came at the right time.