Solitude; Thought stream
Video the letter; thought stream
Here I confront myself, on several levels. By reading this letter and then looking at myself, I have always said that the eyes are so much more. When eyes meet it can have so many outcomes, I'm afraid of this meeting, afraid that people can read me and see me, see inside off me and can see all my insecurities, eyes can touch you, and can release thinks in/from you, but also play with you and for you to be able to share things. I read this letter and then I have a big stream of thoughts, which is very different than if you also have to look (confront) yourself by looking in your one eyes. Does this confrontation also change my stream of thoughts? Do I think different now? Do I feel different? Do I look at differently? Am I confronting myself or am I lost in the thought stream and is this now just a shell of emptiness? Is there realisation?
This is about change, of thought streams, change of words and ways that sentence are constructed, how do I tell something, how do I look at it, how do I see words and how do I listen to them, where do they come from? From inside of my head or from inside the heart? Always questions and questions (asking and asking). Never no questions, no questions means knowledge and you cannot have/own all knowledge. On what do you rely? How do you change and why do you change? Am I changing now? What do we see and what not? What do you hear and what not? what do you feel and what not? How do I look upon this? What do I want? What am I going to do? Which decision is certain, or are there no decisions?
I wrote the text after reading the letter as a kind of reaction to this. It is a recording of my thought stream that took place at that time in that moment, it took me away for a while and was as fast gone again. We are lonely at this time with hardly anyone around us. This does not mean that they are gone, but it can feel that way and feelings are something almost incomprehensible, can you listen to it? what now? Don't look far ahead that makes no sense. Look at it day by day. Always questions?