Escapism is mental diversion from unpleasant or boring aspects of daily life, typically through activities involving imagination or entertainment. Escapism may be used to occupy one's self away from persistent feelings of depression or general sadness. I noticed that I always have done this in my mind, constantly speculating about things that could have happend/ of can happen by me saying surfend Dordts of doing serpent actions. But this is not completely in your hands off course you can never know what is going on in there mind. I know I should stop because its not something realistic, but I still constantly do this over and over in my mind to vind al the ways to get where I want to see my self in the end. But this proces is really hurting but I get expectations and that’s not good you shouldn’t have them because if its not what you wanted to be and go on and on about that you let your self down and get sucked in this infinity loop of disappointment created by your self. Get lost in these thoughts and speculations, my looking for that imaginary world. Weil i actually want to vind piece but I am stuk looking trough those pain by overstimulation from the outside and own developed ones that gave huge headaches. Looking for/at something with pain in the head.